endless ponderings August 29, 2007
Posted by arick in Life.add a comment
ok i’m sort of in a contemplative mood right now and i don’t have homework due tomorrow… and i know i should go ahead and do homework due later but unfortunately i’m an immediate gratification type of person. so what. it’s not like i ever regret it. and i really feel like writing and i don’t really care if nobody actually reads this blog.
so i just recently watched an episode of scrubs which was really really rather pertinent to my current life. well i guess all the episodes of scrubs are rather pertinent to life that’s what makes it so appealing and amazing of a show. but this one was about thinking about the future. and i don’t entirely remember jd’s little wrap-up speech at the end about the future… something about hating thinking about the future… never knowing what it might throw, something else or another. i’m a high school senior. i’ve been thinking about the future quite a bit. like looking into colleges and where i want to spend the next four years of my life…
i seem to be clinging onto the past a lot though. a hella alot. like how i have this whole plan to go to atlanta on my birthday just to visit bryce… but i mean it’s not just because i wanna hang out with bryce or because there’s a yellowcard concert. it’s because i need to leave los alamos. god, i definitely need to leave it. it’s just eating away at my soul and i just need to get away. and i need to go away alone without my parents. it’s just something i need to do. it’s like… an expression of my freedom and independence, which is something that i just have to do. i feel like edna pontellier now. i am just sort of trapped. i’m an imprisoned bird (a yellow and green parrot that tells people to go away in french)
you know it’s kind of funny. i feel a part of me is missing now. like now that bryce and luke and everybody going to college is off i feel a part of my life is missing. like there’s this sort of void. i don’t really know why. and now that my cellphone has been taken away for the week i’ve sort of lost my continual contact i had with bryce (i txt him a lot).
is it really wrong to sort of cling on to those friendships? (my mind can’t organize and think at the same time so bear with me.) like i guess there’s “keep in touch” which is what i’m doing with phil and talking once or twice a week. and then there’s clinging which is talking everyday and sending tons of emails. it’s kind of obsessive. but i don’t know if it really is a bad thing. i really do like thinking that we can stay friends forever (ha! remember when you were a kid and had “best friends forever” and things like that?). well i don’t think it’s that terrible of a thing. provided it continues and it doesn’t slowly end. y’know it’s kinda funny though. he and i are complete opposites: he’s a conservative catholic and i’m a liberal atheist. he’s really rather collected all the time and mature while i am always sort of excited or frenzied and rather childish all the time. he is really pure and innocent as in he doesn’t drink, never smoked, stuff like that and i’m not really that pure or innocent… opposites attract huh.
i really want to buy all the seasons of scrubs right now. i don’t know why. mmmmmmmmmmmeh.
photograph August 22, 2007
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you all know the nickelback song right?
Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh.
How did our eyes get so red,
and what the hell is on Joey’s head?
This is where I grew up,
I think the present owner fixed it up.
I never knew we ever went without,
the second floor is hard for sneaking out.
[...]
Every memory of looking out the back door,
I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor.
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye…
sorta how i feel right now… y’know that nostalgic feeling (i have been doing as much as i can to avoid actual school work, and trying not to think about english tomorrow… it takes a certain type of teacher to make students dread the class after one period). so other than playing around with my phone and taking picture of everybody so when they call pictures show up and changing around my ringtone every hour, i’ve been feeling sort of nostalgic.
i don’t really know why now… ok i do, i’ve been staring at a wall not doing schoolwork for hours and thinking endlessly… so naturally stuff like this will end up showing up sometime, especially since everybody’s leaving for college these next few weeks (except for crazy UC kids).
all those memories i don’t want to forget are slowly fading. it’s not really fair i don’t think. so all that we really have left is a single photograph to remind us. but we’ll never remember in its entirety. all we get is a single snapshot of a single moment to remind us of… let’s say… bowling (actually i don’t have any pictures from my first bowling experience but you get the idea). well actually, we don’t even get that. cuz unless you’re crazy and carry a camera on you at all times, which i don’t, you end up missing on those moments that you realize you really want to remember. moments that you don’t ever want to end. those moments are spontaneous and difficult to capture unless you really are endlessly taking pictures. so all those memories… which i don’t ever want to forget… eventually will they really just vanish?
i’m sure i will forge new memories as time goes on. but it won’t really truly be the same. time changes so many things. and so i of course will never have the same moment twice… but will i even have similar moments twice? i dunno… who knows what the future holds…
i want a pensieve… i want to be in a sci-fi movie where i can download memories (i know there is a movie like that! the name escapes me though)… i want to be able to remember twenty years…
this blog certainly chronicles to a certain extent and degree our lives… and as do our emails and chat logs and all that stuff which shows up in GMail… so do the endless text messages (which my phone must have an amazing amount of memory cuz i haven’t deleted any yet)… and the hundreds of pictures that show up on facebook… but nothing can really capture the moment the way we want it.
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeh August 21, 2007
Posted by arick in Life, School.add a comment
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeh
school’s started…
how many people hate teachers who don’t support the “ease into the schoolyear” philosophy and approach to teaching? i do. i, personally, do not like starting the school year off with an in-class writing and a test and a presentation and another test and a quiz and homework. it’s just… unamerican! cuz let’s face it! we americans love sitting on our lazy asses doing nothing! and most of all if we have to work we have to ease into it or else you get a pretty crappy essay.
so.
escape.
stardust is a really escapist movie. but i like it. it’s actually an amazingly well done fairy tale. sort of like what big fish has done for tall tales stardust has done for fairy tales. does that make any sense? it makes perfect sense to me. but seriously, take a look at it. it has a pretty crappy trailer i know but it’s a good movie. oooh i hate to admit it but i actually want to watch superbad. it sort of reminds me of american pie, which i still maintain is one of those american classic coming-of-age movies which everybody really should watch. i haven’t seen any of the sequels i don’t know if i really want to… but american pie is pretty good. it’s an american classic sort of in the sense that… night at the roxburry is a classic… sort of… maybe more american graffiti actually.
so i am wasting time in the most meaningless fashion possible… i’m taking pictures of all the people in my contacts list so when they call their pictures show up. some of them are pretty good… let’s see i have afsheen’s pic as him in a tux and cooking apron, and bald paco, marina in aviators, quintessentially bored calvin… oh! and i just got bald bryce! well he shaved off all his hair for nrotc and i forgot about it and he sent a picture over… he looks weird bald… it’s actually nice that we’re talking so much even though he’s in college! though he’s only been gone 3 weeks… oh well… hmmm… oh and i’m making people join GTalk… as i said… wasting time on meaningless activities…
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeh
teachers & names August 19, 2007
Posted by arick in School.1 comment so far
email i wrote to a few teachers today:
I have been thinking about this for a little bit and asking my fellow students their opinions. But I thought that it would be interesting to get input from teachers as well. So please, tell me what you think.
My idea was that having students call teachers by first names as opposed to the formal “Mr.” or “Mrs.” we would facilitate better student-teacher relationships. Or if not better, perhaps more meaningful ones.
Here is my reasoning:
I understand that respect is associated with the formality created by such titles. So perhaps a better idea would make it more for junior or senior year teachers. But I believe that around junior/senior year is when students really do begin to think about the future, and as such they do begin to seek advice. Because of this, I believe they do need to develop an unprofessional and meaningful relationship with at least one other adult (mostly because advice from college friends is, admittedly, not as great as it could be). And considering how they spend so much time at school it would be easiest to develop a better relationship with a teacher.
But there are these barriers that do prevent students from doing so. And most obviously, one of those barriers is that teachers are authority figures. And it is definitely difficult to go to authority for help or advice. I believe that part of that authoritative power comes from the these titles and formalities. But around junior/senior year we know teachers are authority (or most students at least), so why continue such formalities? It may be hard to believe that simply changing a name can facilitate better student-teacher relationships but we have been taught all our lives to associate “Mr.” or “Mrs.” or “Ms.” with authority and that we cannot truly befriend them (and consequently cannot seek advice).
And it should actually be noted that in every other place but school, people my age (juniors/seniors) do call adults by first names. Bosses, coworkers, coaches – we all usually call by first names. So why not teachers as well? That I do not quite understand.
So the few other students I have talked to have expressed some varied opinions. A couple are vehemently against it thinking teachers do demand the respect lent from titles and formalities. But more people seem to think that if a teacher prefers to be called by a first name rather than formal titles, then they would actually go to that teacher for advice more often. Of course, all of them think that it would be weird, but I think that once you move beyond that initial awkwardness then it would work out.
So I am really interested in what teachers think about this. Please reply if you can.
Arick
So what do you guys think though?
summer’s slipping away August 15, 2007
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today is the last day of summer vacation. it’s gone. everything. no!! so before i allow this amazing reprieve to leave my grasp… i shall write a blog post! so i believe this was definitely a summer well spent. total procrastination of summer assignments and just going out and having fun! well… let’s see… this summer i have successfully watched every single move that has gone in and out of our theater (including the little kid movies like ratatouille which was awesome by the way). i learned golf and went bowling for the first time ever. went to an absolutely amazing concert featuring rufus wainwright and sean lennon (and a fine frenzy).
you know… it’s kind of hard to encapsulate everything in words. there are definitely a lot of memories i’ll have of this summer… like writing poetry for a presentation directed at a highly scientific crowd. i still maintain that it was a good thing to do by the way. it added a charming air to the poster. the jemez adventure and entailing fiasco… and new york (of course). those last moments with bryce before he left for college… oh which reminds me that this is one of those years when i am sort of disillusioned by the oncoming future… made into reality by the fact that some of me best buds are leaving for college as i am stuck here to complete one last year of high school.
oh but i did pick up a lot this summer. bowling. golfing. frisbee.
so… last day of summer… didn’t really do anything that interesting today actually. let’s see helped out the key club recruitment… talked to teachers… played at the pond… then had a discussion with lathrop… and then came home… and started complaining about the fact that school is tomorrow. SIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH… last moments of summer i’m going to stop writing…
i’m up! i’m up… August 11, 2007
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so i’m up… much too early for my pleasure… i got up at 7:30… all because i didn’t get jack’s text message until this morning for some reason… so basically i’m up early for no reason and i’m really tired. but i think i will make use of this time to write a little something in the blog. now to come up with something to write. i guess i can start with some updates on life – rufus wainwright / sean lennon concert last monday was amazingly stellar. calvin’s friend from virginia came to visit us… paco’s italian friends are here for a while. frisbee tournament today (which is why i woke up early but it ended up i didn’t have to wake up so early) and it goes into tomorrow. bryce is gone which makes me sad. school starts in four/five days depending on if you count today… that’s not cool. people leaving for colleges over the next couple weeks so sentimental goodbyes time. a little of this a little of that. i actually do have some stuff i’ll say later when i’m more awake and can properly articulate thoughts. but right now i’m going for coffee.
scheduling August 8, 2007
Posted by arick in School.add a comment
school schedules are so much fun. it is just an essential part of the high school experience to eagerly await your schedules and compare it with your friends. it is a ritual practiced every year. well my school schedule: four total classes and three off periods. that’s good. i’m changing it though. well… you see… here’s an oddity… luke is working on my high school senior schedule and i’m working on his high school freshman schedule. well whachya gonna do? but mine will be changed. i have off periods at the most inconvenient times…
sentimentalities August 3, 2007
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well today was the last day one of my closest friends was in town. now he’s off to college. or boot camp and then college. and i feel like writing… so i think i’m gonna write about him or to him or however it decides to come out. sort of to him but it is more about him.
aight dude it’s been one amazing year. i wonder what you thought when you first moved? it’s weird though… how we’ve only known each other for a year. but we’ve had some pretty amazing times huh. i’m really lucky that you and i met and became such good friends. all those wonderful memories we have forged together, including (and oh what irony) our joint pursuit in writing a memoir. haha dude i won’t forget how we “exchanged” movies. thanks to you i now have quite a movie collection of my own. (and yeah you better send me movies in the mail like you promised.) and how can i forget our own spartan experience? 300!! die at the age of 30! haha good times… total bullshit created during a state sleep-deprivation. we did good though. suits and tie. it’s hard to forget. kind of a funny sight. battle of the bands, the two of us among a group of complete strangers – and only expelling the complete and total awkwardness by texting each other under the table at dinner. all those small seemingly insignificant memories like sitting at the pond and talking, or lying on your couch watching that 70’s show and then watching the simpsons movie or just jamming out to music. you teaching me how to golf. our little hitchhiking escapade. me forcing you to play ddr (that i won’t ever forget). and how can we forget our little road trip? oh of course we can’t. and of course i owe you too huh… for you (sort of unknowingly) talking me out of reckless drinking to drown out the crap life throws. have fun at college dude. i expect you to go to lots of concerts. don’t worry i’ll have fun my senior year and i promise not to do something incredibly stupid like x or acid – i don’t trip. see ya at xmas. just you watch… we will still be friends in nine years when your out of the service and i finish grad school. we’ll still be friends.
