i feel like this blog is dead… yet surprisingly we still actually have readers. that’s all interesting enough. who the fuck are you guys wasting time reading such a useless blog? the thing is, it’s hard to write on the blog, simply because it is so unfocused. and i really have nothing to write about. my life is characterized by being rather dull. so i started playing guitar. it’s really easy to learn, i tried taking guitar lessons but the teacher is not that great, but he keeps guilting me and megan into going cuz he’s always saying how if it weren’t for us he wouldn’t have money for electricity and he seems so lonely and i have no clue what to do about that. i learned to snowboard, i’m quite good. i don’t understand, what is the appeal of this blog? why do y’all keep reading? it’s pretty damn boring. the teenage drama? here’s my drama: i’m struggling like hell. i’m about to graduate. i have no clue what i’m going to do. i can’t concentrate on my work because all i can think about is “what the hell is next?” i’m struggling to grasp this concept of self, this allusive idea that i am a unique individual and therefore i can somehow be defined. i’m scared by how much i’ve changed in two years and am even more scared by what can happen in the next two years. i’m confused with the concept, the idea of friendship and what is associated with it and what it entails, with this one person in particular, who i would like to call my friend but not sure exactly if that works cuz in some light he becomes this avuncular and heroic and mentor figure, “can one become friends with that figure?” i ask myself. i feel like i am more myself than i have ever been, but this “myself” is so new that i’m not sure how to react to it or if i like it.

there, teenage drama at it’s finest.